Christmas Question -- Part One

I LOVE Christmas movies, even really sappy ones or cheesy ones or black and whites with dudes singing and dancing. I love them all!! I could list about 100 of my favorite quotes from Christmas movies, but I will post just this one.

George Bailey: What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary.

Mary: I'll take it. Then what?

George Bailey: Well, then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair... am I talking too much?

Now, if you love Christmas movies too (and I KNOW you do), leave a comment and tell me what your all-time favorite line from a Christmas movie is. If you don't remember the line word-for-word, that's ok. Or, if you want to get it right, just google it. Let's get some participation here people! Come on you lurkers!!

Thank God for Brangelina

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for Brad and Angelina. Yeah, that's right. Brad and Angelina. I'm only going to say this once, and I want all of you to listen closely. I don't know if Angelina got special treatment in receiving her children, but if she did, she certainly deserved it.

Before adopting three children internationally (from Cambodia, Ethiopia, and Vietnam), Ms. Jolie had already devoted herself to the worldwide humanitarian crisis. In her life, she has traveled to and assisted the people of Cambodia, Sierra Leone, Tanzania, Pakistan, Thailand, Ecuador, Kosovo, Kenya, Namibia, Sri Lanka, Russia, Jordan, Egypt, Haiti, India, New Delhi, Chad, Syria, and Iraq.

She has served as a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. (The UNHCR protects refugees and assists in their return or resettlement.) She was the first recipient of the Citizen of the World Award, and she was also presented with the Global Humanitarian Award as well as a membership to the Council on Foreign Relations.

She and Brad Pitt have devoted time, energy, and oodles of money to global causes. They have used their fame to bring attention and aid to people around the world.

This touches me because, as a fellow adoptive mom-to-be, it is becoming very clear to me how fortunate and lucky we are. My daughter will live for one year in an orphanage. She will most likely receive her first bath the night after she is placed in our arms. Her "first picture" will be her referral picture sent to us prior to travel. In it, she will look like a little boy. Her hair will be cut very short to minimize head lice. She will most likely be wearing a heavy winter coat to keep her warm as the orphanage is very minimally heated. Many times, food will not come when she is hungry, but only at the regularly scheduled feeding time.

Since we have started this journey, we have learned a lot about the world beyond the U.S. We are still novices, as there is so much to learn, but we are realizing that our world view is very warped. For example, did you know that if you own your home, have a car, pay your bills, and send your children to college, you are part of the wealthiest 2% of the world population? Think about this the next time you are watching television and you are bombarded with advertisements for SUVs, diamond rings, and electronic gadgets.

A REAL world view is shown below.*

If we could reduce the world's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the demographics would look something like this:

The village would have 60 Asians, 14 Africans, 12 Europeans, 8 Latin Americans, 5 from the USA and Canada, and 1 from the South Pacific.

51 would be male; 49 would be female.

82 would be non-white; 18 white.

67 would be non-Christian; 33 would be Christian.

80 would live in substandard housing.

67 would be unable to read.

50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation.

33 would be without access to a safe water supply.

39 would lack access to improved sanitation.

24 would not have any electricity; of the 76 that do have electricity, most would only use it for light at night.

7 people would have access to the internet.

1 would have a college education.

1 would have HIV.

2 would be near birth; 1 near death.

5 would control 32% of the entire world's wealth; all 5 would be U.S. citizens.

33 would be receiving -- and attempting to live on -- only 3% of the income of "the village."

*The original version of the State of the Village Report by Donella H. Meadows was published in 1990 as "Who Lives in the Global Village?" and updated in 2005. With so many new reports and constantly changing statistics, please view the above presentation as general and not meant to be totally accurate. It is more for the purpose of fostering understanding, so that we might better dialogue and understand the different cultures of our world.

Happy Birthday Rider!!

Rider is my nephew, and today is his birthday. Rider is a stellar athlete. He loves baseball, basketball, and football. He is also a terrific hugger and a very smart young man. He loves to play UNO, eat popcorn, and go on long strenuous hikes up very big mountains in Tennessee. Happy Birthday, Rider! We love you!

The Concurrent Conundrum

We've been doing our homework. Last week we spent hours and hours online and on the phone to adoptive parents and adoption agencies across the country. Other agencies are allowing concurrent adoption for their parents waiting for babies from China, and we met several parents who are already deep into the concurrent process.

Unfortunately, when we contacted our agency to get the ball rolling, we ran into a lot of resistance. So we went back to the forums and chat rooms and contacted the parents online who were also hitting a lot of red tape. Would you believe that they used our same agency for their China adoption?

Then, the final blow came when our agency issued an update to all parents saying, in summary, there is no way for them to predict the current wait for China (the math is too difficult for them to even venture an estimate). Additionally, they listed several popular countries for international adoption and basically formulated a reason why most of them would not be viable as concurrent options. You can do it in Columbia, but they have a 3-year wait. Ethiopia does not understand why families would want to adopt from more than one country and would therefore need "concrete answers to satisfy this question." Kazakhstan and Russia have no rules one way or the other for concurrent, and are therefore too risky. Needless to say, Stan and I feel that a lot of what they said is bullshit.

The problem is this. Our contract with the agency precludes us from pursuing a concurrent adoption with another agency. So our China agency is against concurrent, and we are not permitted to go elsewhere for concurrent either. This leaves us with the following choices: (1) stay right where we are and wait 4-5 years for a child from China; (2) terminate our China adoption and lose all of the money we have already paid so that we can legally begin a paperchase to another adoption with a different agency; (3) knowingly breech our contract with the China agency and pursue a concurrent adoption behind their back, risking the chance of being involuntarily terminated from the China program; or (4) go "Raising Arizona" and steal babies from owners of unpainted furniture stores.

Here's the deal, folks. We haven't decided anything yet, and in light of the highly-charged emotional and legal risks associated with each of the options listed above, we have chosen to deal with this privately and not discuss it on this blog until a solid, definite, and final decision has been made.

Please keep us in your prayers, send good vibes our way, practice some positive voodoo on our likenesses, throw a penny in a wishing well, or do whatever you do to think good thoughts. It has been an uphill battle for us to start a family, and let me tell you, Stan and I think of little else. It is heartbreaking to KNOW something in your soul but find yourself incapable of realizing that dream. There have been few things in my life that I have "known" in this way. So far, all of them have come true. I have to believe that this one will, too.

Re-Cap

Maybe those last two posts were too long and you all died of thirst/starvation/boredom while reading them. Anyway, in case I buried the punchline beyond recognition, here is a re-cap:

The Bad News: Our baby from China will not be here until 2012 or later.

The Good News: We are going to (try to) go get us a baby boy from some other country while we wait. Details to be announced.

The Bad News

Disclaimer: If you want the good news first, scroll down to the post below this one.

Many moons wait. When we got into this, we knew that we would have a long wait in front of us. Lately, however, we have been doing our homework on the subject, and it turns out that 24 moons may not be accurate at all.

Before I tell you what we've learned, I feel that it's important to tell you about our sources. Many of you reading this are friends and family, but there may also be waiting families reading this blog, and I want everyone to know how we came to our conclusions.

When you are adopting internationally, you have several resources at your disposal:

1. Your agency
2. Fellow adoptive parents
3. The government
4. Books and other written literature
5. Websites

In this Information Age, we all know that the smart researcher will consider not only the content of the message, but also the source from which it came. As for the above list, there are good and bad things to be said of each.

Agency -- Our agency is great. We are using Children's Hope International. We love all of the people who have helped us through the paper chase, mainly our adoption specialist and our social worker. We've spent a lot of time with these ladies (one is an adoptive parent and the other is a waiting mom) and we really feel a bond with them. That being said, it's important for adoptive parents to remember that the agency is still a business. Like any corporation these days, there is something to watch out for -- the spin factor. When we talk about "the wait" with our agency, we are always told the same thing: the current wait is 24 months, and we expect this wait to grow in 2008. This statement is completely true and reasonable, but it's also just a tiny sliver of truth, scraped from the top of the ice burg of information available on this particular subject. This, my friends, is a spin.

Adoptive Parents -- If you want some real information, find some people who are in your same boat (i.e., the slow boat to China!). But take caution -- some of these people are at a completely different stage in the wait, and some of them have taken the 24-month story to heart (as we did). If you just want some inspiration, there are plenty of blogs out there loaded with pictures of adorable little girls who are now at home in the U.S. with their forever families. See my list of blogs I like on the right. 3 Peanuts and Katiebug's Journey are blogs I found back in February when we first started thinking about China. At the time, both little girls were still in China and both sets of parents were preparing for their trip. It was great to catch them right at that moment and follow their story through travel, coming home, and becoming a family. For those of you (Dad) who are not so computer-savvy, please note that you can click on the names of the blogs and be directed right to their site.

It's also important to meet people "in real life" who are adopting. We attended a seminar this week and met a handful of people in our area who are adopting internationally. We hope to establish friendships with these people. We're all in this together!!

Government -- Adoption is heavily regulated by state and federal law. Furthermore, because international adoption involves the immigration of the child to the U.S., adoptive parents and their agency must work with the State Department, the Department of Homeland Security, the FBI, the Consulate, the Embassy, and the Immigration and Naturalization Service (just a name a few off the top of my head). The government is pretty reliable in their information as it pertains to Chinese adoption, but they don't always explain things in the simplest of terms. And their focus is not on the wait, but rather the forms you will need.

Books and other literature -- The world of international adoption changes at a head-spinning pace. Book content can be outdated before it even reaches the shelves of your local Barnes & Noble. Magazines and newspapers are probably a better option, but still, the focus is not typically on the subject of the wait.

Websites -- If you're adopting from China, it won't take you very long to find the Rumor Queen. As I perused the hallways of the blogosphere, I kept hearing about this Rumor Queen or about a rumor or about something found on "RQ." It seemed as if everyone (I mean everyone) was listening to this lady! I thought, "Well who is SHE? Why should she know something that my agency doesn't know?" And then I went to her site, and I saw how intense she was and how intense her readers were. And I thought, "These people are all CRAZY!"

But I kept reading, and I did my homework, and it turns out that she is a fairly reputable source. She gathers her information from insiders (international adoption agency employees from all over the world, many of whom who are willing to, anonymously, tell it like it is). She also gathers information from CCAA's website and puts it into one place for everyone to read. (The CCAA is the Chinese government entity overseeing adoption in that country.)

Rumor Queen has no spin. And she has some common sense. And she can do the math for the rest of us. Like most analysts, RQ estimates that there are currently 20,000 to 30,000 people like us waiting for a baby from China. (Read that again and let it sink in. 20,000 to 30,000 people. No shit.) And we are at the end of that long line. Approximately 300 to 400 babies are matched with their forever family each month. You can do the math, or you can let the Rumor Queen do it for you, "... that means it will take 71.25 months to get through the backlog. How long is 71.25 months? Five years, eleven months, and 8 days." And that was from June of this year, so Stan and I (LID 9-28-2007) are faced with the realization that our wait may be even longer. Click here to read this particular post at Rumor Queen's site, China Adopt Talk.

http://chinaadopttalk.com/2007/06/24/the-backlog/

So, my friends, it is not 24 moons to our daughter. It is 71.25+ moons.

If you're thinking things could change -- well, it is possible that things could change for the better. For one thing, many families are deciding to accept children with special needs (SN). Those taking the SN track can receive their referrals ahead of everyone else, thus removing them from "our" line. Also, it is estimated that approximately 25% of waiting families drop out (probably after THEY do the math). This 25%, however, was taken into consideration by RQ when she calculated the estimated number of families waiting right now. I believe, though, that this percentage will grow even bigger if the agencies start to revise their "24 months and likely to grow" spin into something closer to the truth.

If you're thinking things could change -- well, it is possible that things could get worse. I don't want to go into it too much (I believe the news above is bad enough to satiate even the most Pekar-ish of doomsayers), but the Olympics and the media attention on China could actually slow down the referral process. As ludicrous as it may sound, China wants it to be a secret that so many baby girls are adopted from its borders every year. And they certainly don't want people to know that the number of abandoned babies who do not survive their first year is far, far greater than the number of babies adopted. But let's save that topic for another day, or I'll never finish this post, which we can all agree is too long already.

Now, for the good news.

The Good News

photo by NASA

The good news is ... we don't think we'll drop out of the China program, and we ARE going to do whatever we can to begin a journey to our SON! We're moving on to the long-term plan, people.

We had planned to get our daughter from China and then begin the paperchase for a boy from whatever country seemed right at the time. We thought he would be Baby Number Two. If things work out, he will be Baby Number One and he will come home with us while we wait for his sister!

Where will we go next in our pursuit of parenthood? We're not ready to publicize any details yet, because we are still in the information-gathering stage. To be honest, we don't know for sure ourselves. We're going to meet with our agency as soon as we can. Obviously, our goal this time is to choose a country with a short wait time. We have to make sure that this "concurrent" adoption can be done.

For the moment, we feel very confident that this will work. Stan is preparing himself to conduct Jedi training as we speak! I'm thinking about the nursery. Here we go again. Oh boy!

Leaves of Grass: The Pants

I am a huge Seinfeld fan. If you are too, then you know about the J. Peterman Catalogue. But maybe you are wiser than I, and you know that the J. Peterman Catalogue is a REAL THING. I thought it was fictional until I came across the latest edition in my workplace lunchroom. The best part is that J. Peterman Company really does sell items similar to the Himalayan Walking Boot and the Urban Sombrero. Now, as far as I know, those two things ARE fictional.

But Walt Whitman pants are not. No, baby, these are for real. If you want to wear the same britches as worn by the great American poet, you can get them from a catalogue (shown above). And, just as portrayed on Seinfeld, the product descriptions in the magazine are true poems in and of themselves. Feast your ears on this description of the trousers:

When Walt Whitman heard America singing, these are the kind of pants it was singing in. They look different from the pants that came later; more important, they really are different, altogether tougher, being true, heavy-duty canvas. The men who dug the canals and cut through the mountains and drove the railroad spikes wore canvas pants like these. The pioneers who made it west on the wagon trains, 15 miles on a good day, they wore them. Miners and lumberjacks wore them. At least one poet I know of did, too.The pants that came later were fine; they still are. But when you put these pants on, you will feel an extra measure of character. Walt Whitman Pants (No. 1981). Substantial cotton canvas, with big front pockets, watch pocket, welted rear pocket. Notched waistband and adjustable belt in back. Aged-brass shank buttons for suspenders. Men’s even sizes: 32 through 46. Color: Brown. Price: $69.

Happy Birthday, Jason!

Ok, so we have a lot of November birthdays too. Today is my brother Jason's birthday. I tried to find a less goofy picture, but apparently, Jason makes goofy faces whenever I point the camera his way. He's not really cross-eyed, but it is true that he likes Budweiser and the Browns.

Best Birthday Card Ever

American Greetings

I LOVE this birthday card, presented to me by my co-workers. I'm thinking of having it framed and hanging it in my cubicle.

35

photo by Leo Reynolds

35th president of the United States ... John F. Kennedy

35th state in the union ... West Virginia

35th parallel north runs through ... China, Iraq, Afghanistan, Tennessee, and many other places

35th anniversary gift ... coral

35th academy award for best actor in a leading roll ... Gregory Peck in To Kill a Mockingbird

35th birthday for me ... today

Harvey & Anthony

American Splendor #1 cover (outside Tommy's in Coventry)

If you've read my sidebar, you know that I dig Harvey Pekar. Who is this Harvey Pekar, you might ask? Well, let me introduce you. Harvey Pekar, age 68, now lives in my favorite neighborhood of Cleveland (Coventry Village in Cleveland Heights). When I lived there, I used to go for walks on his street (before I even knew who he was or that he lived there). He's into vintage jazz and record collecting. He thinks negative thoughts 24-7. He worries a lot. His wife and adopted daughter are everything in the world to him.

He loves the grit of Cleveland like a muskrat loves his musk. He has lived here his whole life, and for the most part, lived in some of the not-so-cushy neighborhoods -- in neighborhoods where money is earned with sweat and perseverance, and ethnic loyalties run deep. In other words, neighborhoods like mine. Places where, if it weren't for the perpetual snow and cold of the Cleveland winter, the demographic stirring of the iron ore melting pot we call home would probably result in more crime and violence than is currently observed. (That snow keeps us all indoors-- and complacent -- for four or five months out of the year.)

Harvey is a retired file clerk. Have you ever worked with files? I don't mean on your pc, I mean real, manila folder files with labels on them? Most people my age have not. It is a loathsome task. When it was needed, I used to file customer records at a cell phone company. Imagine (those of you working in offices now) if you had to ask A PERSON to bring you a file every time you wanted to review a client's history or read the memo about XYZ or refresh your memory on the specs needed for blah blah blah? Harvey was the one who would get you that file. He must have had one of the dullest day jobs anyone could ever imagine.

However, he's one of the most influential and ground-breaking comic book writers of all time. Pekar was one of the first comic book writers (or really, any kind of writer) to chronicle his broodings of the mundane and mostly unrecognized events of human existence, particularly those wrapped in grimy gloominess and saturated in the stink of man.

A good example of this can be found in one of his stories, "Class Antagonism," in which Harvey's co-worker tells him he can't have any cake because he never brings food to the workplace for his co-workers -- he only takes and never gives. The story is told in nine frames and in about 100 words. That's all it's about! The "punchline" is when Pekar asks this co-worker if it's ok for him to eat donuts left by the Johnson & Johnson salesman, since no one in the building paid for those. And she says she doesn't care.

In a more "exciting" episode, Harvey tries to interview some guy about "the most important phenomena in Cleveland during the 1930s." The guy tries to tell Harvey that the Goldberg hustlers called Maggies sold linoleum (or magnoleum, as they called it) to immigrants, blacks, and farmers on the corner of 117th and Kinsman during the depression at outrageously high prices in order to satiate their gambling addiction. When, during the interview, the guy's story doesn't "add up," the guy admits to his own dishonesty but defends himself saying, "Socrates said all men are dishonest, so even he was dishonest." The last frame of the comic shows Pekar musing, "There you have it folks -- now you know all about the Maggies with a little Socrates thrown in."

It's like a comic book version of Seinfeld, written by George, and set in 1970s/1980s Cleveland. In many ways, Pekar is the lone pioneer of the story of nothing. He is truly a creative genius. But not every story was about nothing. Although Pekar's stories were always about regular people within his circle of friends, on his street, or at his workplace, many of the stories centered on such heady themes as race, love, divorce, charity, labor, cancer, and (of course) the pure angst of being Harvey Pekar.

On top of all that, he's an acclaimed jazz critic and author of several books. A movie based on his autobiographical comic book series American Splendor featuring Paul Giamatti as Harvey was nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay at the 2003 Academy Awards. But don't get the idea that Harvey ever made any substantial money on all this. For most of his career, the comic writing caused him to lose money. He's a regular guy. He stayed on as the file clerk (what he called his "flunky" career) until retirement age. His following is not mainstream, but cultish and underground. He's the unsung hero of Cleveland.

Recently, Harvey joined the Travel Channel's Anthony Bourdain for a Cleveland episode of "Anthony Bourdain, No Reservations." I missed it when it first aired, but I finally got to see it last week, and it was great.

Here is some of what Anthony had to say about Harvey (from the travel.discovery.com web site for No Reservations):

When my old crony, Ruhlman, said he was going to introduce me to Harvey Pekar I was frankly -- intimidated. Pekar was like ... the poet laureate of Cleveland! I'd been following his American Splendor books since the 70s. I'd seen the movie ... I knew he was supposed to be this cranky, misanthropic working class guy with a loathing for TV phonies.

He turned me on to Zubal's Books, this amazing repository of all the world's printed knowledge in an old TWINKIE factory. They even let Ruhlman drink vintage twinkie filling out of the ancient pipes!

He introduced me to Toby, the only guy in the world who could make a giant rubber stamp interesting.

We all went to Sokolowski's University Inn: me, Harvey, Joyce, Toby, Danielle ... Wow, these guys are really great! Cleveland definitely does not suck! ... They were, all of them -- incredibly cool and nice. Smart, funny weird? Yes ... but these days? The perfect American family.

Click on the link below to see a clip from the show.

http://www.motionbox.com/video/player/1f9cdeb41918e292?segment_begin=0&segment_end=85

Happy Birthday, Karen!

Karen is my sister-in-law, and today is her birthday. (Take note of this picture, because it is the only known image in existence of by brother doing dishes.) Karen is a great mom and, quite possibly the world's biggest baby lover of all time. She just LOVES babies. She is very excited for her new niece to hurry up and get here.

Our Trip to Georgia

SAVANNAH -- Have you ever been to Savannah? If not, you should put it on your to-do list. It is beautiful. And fun. And historical. And there is a lot of good food -- my favorites being she-crab soup and pecan pralines.

ALISON -- Alison told me to go to Savannah. She's also the one who told me to start a blog. And to go with her to OU. I guess you could say she's a good influence! Last week, she posted about Many Moons Wait on her blog, Aliblog (see blogs I like), and said some really nice things about me. Alison and I have known each other since elementary school. We were brownies together, and then we walked over this bridge and they said we were Girl Scouts. What was that all about? I think they gave us wings, too, or something like that. As it turns out, Savannah is the home of the founder of the Girl Scouts, Juliette Gordon Low.

SARAH -- Another Girl Scout we all know and love is Sarah. She has a blog too, called Sarah and the Good Squad (see blogs I like). Sarah's mom, Alison's mom, and my mom were all Girl Scout leaders or co-leaders at one point or another. We were not your typical Girl Scout troop. And our moms were not your typical troop leaders. The most Girl-Scoutish thing I remember doing is having a talent show at the Girl Scout camp and my group sang, "In the Groovie," a lovely song about knowing what you want and getting it:

I want a cheese

I want a cheeseburger

Not too cheesy

Not too burgery

But in the groovie, in the groovie

I want some French

I want some French fries

Not too Frenchie

Not too fryie

But in the groovie, in the groovie

I want a milk

I want a milk shake

Not to milky

Not too shaky

But in the groovie, in the groovie

If you don't like it

You can kiss my butt

Not on the left

Not on the right

But in the groovie, in the groovie

Did I mention how classy and polite people are in the south? But I digress.

AMBIVABLOG -- After Alison published her very flattering post about me, her friend Annie (a.k.a. Amba) came over to Many Moons Wait and was so impressed with my ultrasound that she went back to her blog (Ambivablog -- see blogs I like) and wrote about it. I have to admit to everyone that I did not create that myself. I saw it somewhere else and -- um -- borrowed it. I seriously doubt that whomever I stole it from made it up herself, because I've seen it on many adoption blogs. But, I feel obligated now to write something really good someday because Annie is reading. She is a "real" writer (as are Alison and Sarah), and has a blog of her own called Ambivablog. I like her because she is a true cat lover. I know that she loves cats deeply because of the way she describes their eyelashes and eyeliner.

THE CHRONICLER -- Myers also read Alison's post, and he left a comment on her blog about how I used to be called the Chronicler. I had forgotten all about this name, bequeathed to me by Dave (or Dah-veed as his Spanish friend calls him, as in, "Dah-veed, this vulture it stinks like sheeeeet.") Dave named me the Chronicler because for one quarter at OU, I took a little notebook everywhere I went and logged the events of the season. It had to be done. Someone had to do it. Strange and wondrous things seemed to happen at all times of the day and night. Things that no one would ever believe. Truth is stranger than fiction, and all that shit. Myers went to elementary school with Stan and also to OU with Stan. He is sort of Stan's Alison.

SCOTT -- So, the reason we went to Savannah was because we were invited to a wedding in Atlanta. Our OU friend, Scott, finally found the girl of his dreams (Jennette) and they became husband and wife this past Saturday, 67 years to the day that Scott's grandfather and grandmother (Frank & Rita) were married. Strangely enough, Frank & Rita were chronicled by the Chronicler in "the book" because a group of us OU kids happened to visit them in their Newton, New Jersey home on the morning of New Year's Eve 1995. Frank offered us bourbon, and Rita tried to tell him that nice girls like us didn't drink, but Frank knew better than that. There were boys in the room, too, but Frank was only interested in Scott's female friends. Frank immigrated to the U.S. from Italy and accidentally took the train to Newton. He was trying to get to Booton, but the Italian accent caused him to be pointed in the wrong direction.

So, to conclude this monstrous post, allow me to chronical a few of the things from our trip to Georgia:

We met the self-proclaimed blackest white-bread girl to ever belong to Alpha Kappa Smelta (or something like that).

Stan drank a mixture of Call a Cab and Attitude Adjustment at Wet Willie's on the river. It totally adjusted his attitude, but we didn't have to call a cab.

The all-male, father-son dance was not going well. "We looked like a bunch of sausages out there," said Dave. So, naturally, he started a Congo line.

After eating at Paula Dean's restaurant, Stan went to bed and dreamed of fried chicken all night long.

Champagne Duane leaves the Holiday Inn Express, but he ALWAYS comes back.

It's the same story the crow told me/ it's the only one he know ~ Robert Hunter, "Uncle John's Band"

Photo by Pandiyan, Flicker.com

I love crows. Or blackbirds. Or anything that looks like this. They are spooky but elegant. Dark but beautiful.

Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder of crows? And did you know that crows are thought to be the keepers of sacred law, invisible forces, and magic? They are also thought to be shape-shifters, capable of altering their own reality.

Crows have been observed to hold "court" where they gather into very large groups and seem to pass judgement against one or more of their members. These tribunals can last for days, and often end in capital punishment of the accused.

It's Monday and Everything Stinks

Well, the Indians blew it and life goes back to normal here in Cleveland. No more late nights trying to BELIEVE. No more wishing the radio was in sync with the television so as to avoid the Boston-loving-bastards at Fox. No more Big Poppy spitting into his gloved hands and smacking them together like patty cake. No more rally towels. No more bull pen percussion ensembles. And no more pies.

Today I just feel let down. The Indians are done, and the word TRIBE makes me want to hurl. It seems as if the Browns will never be any good. The Cavs might be good this year, but I feel sour towards LeBron. All of this will heal with time, and then we'll have our hearts broken again.

On a brighter note, my husband just helped the police track down the latest "violator" on our street. For safety reasons, I won't go into detail, but it was a traffic incident in front of our house and Stan got to ride in the sqad car and everything! I just love this neighborhood.

Happy Birthday, Dad

Happy birthday, Dad! Most of you already know Mr. Ed, but if you don't, these pictures will give you a pretty good idea of what kind of guy he is. The picture above was taken at Siesta Key Beach in Florida. Every Sunday night at sunset, you can catch a groovy drum circle complete with drums, dancing, inscense, ex-hippies, new age healers, and plenty of onlookers -- young and old alike. My parents LOVE to attend this weekly event when they are in Florida. In this picture, they are posing with Papa Love (or something like that -- I forget his name).


The pictures below are from an Indians game in the 90s. Believe it or not, my dad is now an usher for the Cleveland Indians and has been entrusted to prevent or punish behaviors such as this!


GO TRIBE!!

The Witching Hour

I saw this picture on another blog, and I just had to share it with you guys. I love Hillary, but this is F to the U to the N-N-Y. And just in time for Halloween.

Happy Birthday, Hailey

Ok, so we have a lot of October birthdays in my family. Tomorrow is Hailey's birthday! Hailey is my brother's girlfriend, but she really deserves a better title than that. You see, she has dated and lived with my brother for at least four years. They aren't officially engaged yet, so I can't say that she is my brother's fiance, but I think it's safe to say that she is my future sister-in-law. Hailey is a ray of sunshine. I don't think I can remember her ever being in a bad mood. She is also a big Indians fan, and I'm sure she will celebrate big time tomorrow at Jacob's Field. Happy birthday, Hailey, and GO TRIBE!!

Happy Birthday, Ardra

Stan’s parents were here for a visit this weekend, and while the guys worked on a home improvement project, Cookie and I went to the zoo with Henry. Henry is my four-year-old nephew. He likes all the animals except for the gorillas. He had a bad experience with a gorilla during a prior trip to the zoo. The gorilla ran up and pounded on the window, scaring everyone. Apparently, he is not the only one with Gorilla Fear. When we came upon the gorilla exhibit yesterday, we saw a toddler lying on the ground, screaming and clutching his mother’s ankle as she dragged him across the ground toward the gorilla area. I wonder what the gorillas think about us.

This is a picture of Henry with his “mummy” (Stan’s sister Ardra). Yesterday was Ardra’s birthday, and she was on a business trip. Ardra is a great sister-in-law. She was very supportive when we found out about the fertility issues, and she wrote a terrific letter of recommendation to our adoption agency when we started this new journey. Happy birthday, Ardra!! We missed you yesterday!!

Here's the Scoop!!

We're pregant! Well, not really. The baby won't be here until about two years from now. But we already know that she will probably be a girl with brown eyes and brown hair. We are very proud and pleased to announce that we are adopting from China!

We learned in February that I have endometriosis and that my fallopian tubes do not receive eggs from my ovaries. If the eggs cannot get into the tubes, there is simply no way to conceive. The doctors told us that Invetro Fertilization (IVF) would be our only real option for pregnancy. IVF means that eggs are harvested from the mother and fertilized with sperm from the father in a laboratory setting. Once fertilized, the eggs are implanted into the mother's uterus. The procedure works for many couples, but many also suffer miscarriage. Additionally, endometriosis can take a toll on the quality of the eggs themselves, making IVF even more risky. The procedure costs $10,000, and many couples go through several rounds of IVF before they are successful. Insurance companies are not mandated to cover IVF for Ohio residents, and neither of our plans cover it.

We were devastated. We had already faced once-a-month failures for about two years, and we knew that spending $10,000 on the mere possibility of pregnancy was quite a risk to take, both financially and emotionally. Our reproductive endocrinologist (a Cleveland Clinic physician and a pioneering leader in IVF) would have supported us 100% if we chose IVF, but he also respected our decision to take a more sure-fire route to parenthood -- adoption.

We began the adoption process in May and have been working our butts off ever since, trying to get our paperwork to China as soon as possible. Our completed dossier left for Beijing on September 14, and China officially confirmed receipt of it on September 28. Now we wait many moons until we travel to China to meet our daughter. The approximate waiting time we have been given is two years. Our daughter will probably be 9-12 months old when we bring her home.

While we're waiting, I hope to use this blog as a way to keep friends & family updated on our progress and give everyone some information so that they will know more about the origins of their soon-to-be grandaughter, niece, cousin, or buddy. Also, this blog will keep me busy while I wait.

I'm so glad you're reading. Post a comment (don't be shy), and come back soon!!

Questions & Answers

I saw this great Q&A on another blog and thought it would be perfect for you guys, too. So, here are some questions you may have -- and my attempt to answer them.


Why are you adopting? We wanted to start a family, and the typical means by which to do so just didn't work out. We always said we wanted our first child to be a girl, and China has lots of them waiting for mommies and daddies.


Why China? It is quite overwhelming to choose from where to adopt. If you've never been in this situation, you really can't fathom the enormity of it. First, you must decide between domestic and international. If you choose international, you must then choose from the countries currently participating in international adoption with the United States. There are only a handful to choose from. Each country's program has its own variables: health of the babies, cost, number of trips to the country required of the adoptive parents, the length of stay required, length of wait for a child, predictability and accountability of its program, etc. To us, China seemed to be the best choice, and it was also our gut choice. Factor in the likelihood to receive a baby girl, and it was a done deal.


What is DTC, LID, Referral, TA, and what's with all the ladybugs???? Welcome to the Chinese Adoption Community. You'll need to know these words and phrases if you want to keep up, especially in the blogosphere.

DTC -- Dossier to China. This is the date that our massive pile o'paperwork was mailed to our adoption agency's office in China. For us, this date was September 14, 2007. A happy day indeed.

LID -- Log in Date. This is the date that the government agency in China overseeing international adoption (CCAA) formally confirmed receipt of our massive pile o'paperwork. It is the official start date of our long wait for referral. Other waiting families will share our same LID, and it is very likely that we will all travel to China round about the same time. Our LID was September 28, 2007. A VERY happy day indeed.

Referral -- The date (about two years from now) when we receive word from the CCAA on which little girl they have chosen for us. We will get a few photographs, some basic info such as her weight, her personality, how many teeth she has, etc.

TA -- Travel Approval. This happens about one month after referral. This is when you receive the green light to make your travel arrangements. The actual travel occurs about eight weeks after referral. We will spend 10-14 days in China. Our daughter will be given to us on day two, and from then on we are a FOREVER FAMILY.

Ladybugs -- Ladybugs are a symbol of good luck in many countries including China. In more recent years, they have also become a symbol for adoption from China. Superstition says that a ladybug sighting means that the referral is arriving soon.


Why are most of the waiting babies in China girls? This is sometimes hard to explain, so I'm sure I'll post on it again in the future, but here is a simplified explanation. In an effort to control a very real population crisis, the Chinese government limits most couples from having more than one child. It is the tradition in China that sons will care for their elderly parents. (There is no Social Security, 401K, or pension plan for most Chinese citizens.) The son takes care of his parents, and the daughter takes care of her husband's parents. As a result, there is a strong preference among Chinese couples to give birth to a boy. Although it is illegal to do so, many couples opt for abortion when they learn that their baby is a girl. It is also illegal to place a child for adoption, so there is simply no way to "choose" adoption. Of course it is also illegal to abandon a baby in China, but this happens to thousands of baby girls every year. Many of them do not survive. Some of them are found and placed in orphanages, and some of these are adopted. There are boys in the orphanages, too, but they are very outnumbered.

Dear Baby: What I love about Cleveland

Photo by laszlo-photo (flickr.com)

This is the first of a series of posts written as letters to my daughter.

Cleveland is rock n roll in everyone’s heart. Cleveland is jazz driving down the street in winter. Cleveland is rap for all the kids and R&B for all their grandparents. Cleveland is gospel on Sunday morning. Cleveland is an orchestra at Christmas.

Cleveland is steel. Cleveland is dirty. Cleveland is noisy. Cleveland smells bad. Cleveland is gray. Cleveland is cold. Cleveland is work. Cleveland is hard.

Cleveland is seagulls. Cleveland is brickwork. Cleveland is bridges. Cleveland is coming in from the cold. Cleveland is the beach. Cleveland is the Tribe. Cleveland is the Browns. Cleveland is LeBron.

Cleveland is Harvey Pekar and his stinky pages. Cleveland is the Pretenders on drive-time radio. Cleveland is Rockefeller Park with no one in it. Cleveland is the man selling lion-print area rugs on the corner of Lee and Miles. Cleveland is the saxophone player honking outside the Galleria. Cleveland is the thousands of office workers ignoring the saxophone player honking outside the Galleria. Cleveland is the teenager going to the Grog Shop. Cleveland is a woman waiting for the bus. Cleveland is people walking toward a stadium on a Sunday afternoon chanting, “Here we go Brownies, here we go.” Cleveland is a woman from Ukraine shopping at Marc’s.

Cleveland is a newspaper. Cleveland is a billboard. Cleveland is a mural. Cleveland is a church. Cleveland is a bar. Cleveland is a highway. Cleveland is a tree lawn. Cleveland is a train.

Cleveland is Carnegie. Cleveland is Euclid. Cleveland is the corner of East 9th and Prospect. Cleveland is East 238th. Cleveland is Apt 9 on Hampshire. Cleveland is the Shoreway. Cleveland is Dead Man’s Curve.

Cleveland is pierogis. Cleveland is stadium mustard. Cleveland is a panini. Cleveland is beer. Cleveland is pop. Cleveland is corned beef. Cleveland is soul food. Cleveland is a Cuban sandwich on Detroit.

Cleveland is everyone knowing every song. Cleveland is everyone knowing every band. Cleveland is my freshman roommates in college and all the people they introduced me to.

Cleveland is walking to temple on Saturday. Cleveland is Halloween always on Halloween night. Cleveland is the St. Patrick’s Day Parade. Cleveland is the Feast of the Assumption.

Cleveland is Marlena learning to read. Cleveland is Julius touching my hand. Cleveland is Crazy Irene looking up at me through her glasses. Cleveland is Joaquin visiting for the summer.

Cleveland is where we were when we fell in love. Cleveland is where we were when our hearts were broken. Cleveland is where we started over. Cleveland is where we married. Cleveland is where Esther has always lived. Cleveland is where everyone came to join us. Cleveland is where we were when we thought about you before you were born. Cleveland is where we will bring you home.