Leaves of Grass: The Pants

I am a huge Seinfeld fan. If you are too, then you know about the J. Peterman Catalogue. But maybe you are wiser than I, and you know that the J. Peterman Catalogue is a REAL THING. I thought it was fictional until I came across the latest edition in my workplace lunchroom. The best part is that J. Peterman Company really does sell items similar to the Himalayan Walking Boot and the Urban Sombrero. Now, as far as I know, those two things ARE fictional.

But Walt Whitman pants are not. No, baby, these are for real. If you want to wear the same britches as worn by the great American poet, you can get them from a catalogue (shown above). And, just as portrayed on Seinfeld, the product descriptions in the magazine are true poems in and of themselves. Feast your ears on this description of the trousers:

When Walt Whitman heard America singing, these are the kind of pants it was singing in. They look different from the pants that came later; more important, they really are different, altogether tougher, being true, heavy-duty canvas. The men who dug the canals and cut through the mountains and drove the railroad spikes wore canvas pants like these. The pioneers who made it west on the wagon trains, 15 miles on a good day, they wore them. Miners and lumberjacks wore them. At least one poet I know of did, too.The pants that came later were fine; they still are. But when you put these pants on, you will feel an extra measure of character. Walt Whitman Pants (No. 1981). Substantial cotton canvas, with big front pockets, watch pocket, welted rear pocket. Notched waistband and adjustable belt in back. Aged-brass shank buttons for suspenders. Men’s even sizes: 32 through 46. Color: Brown. Price: $69.