Slow Boat to China

I have no idea if anyone is still reading this blog! Now that we have returned from Kazakstan with Charlie, we have decided to withdraw our dossier from the China program. The wait times are simply just too long. If we remained in the program, our wait would be 4-5 years or even longer.

More importantly, if we adopt again, we would like to return to Kazakhstan. We think that Charlie would benefit from having a sibling of his own heritage. Hopefully, this will happen for us in the next few years.

Happy Halloween

I don't like slasher movies, but I do like scary stuff! In honor of Halloween, here are my favorite scary-movie images.

Happy 1st LIDversary

Well, we've officially hit the one-year mark for our China wait. If things go well, we will wait about four more years. If things go wrong, our agency will go out of business (a real possibility for Children's Hope). If things go worser (my new favorite bad word), the economy will completely collapse and we will not be able to afford adoption. Suddenly, the idea of waiting four more years is not such a terrible thing!

We should hear from our agency soon on whether or not they receive Hague accreditation. This is their third try. They have asked us to pray for them (on several occasions). They have closed all of their branches (including their Cleveland office), and they have reassigned new coordinators to us three times. As I said on the other blog, they have asked all of their waiting parents to refrain from any "complaining" while visiting the website and/or the Children's Hope Yahoo group. The worser news is that once you are LID, you cannot switch agencies without starting all over. So, we're kind of stuck with CHI. Let us pray.

Sometimes it seems that there is nothing positive to say about adoption. But then I remind myself of the OUTCOME (as rare and fleeting as it may be). The OUTCOME is that a child needing a family is matched with people who need a child. The outcome is that a child with no mommy, daddy, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, or cousin, suddenly has all of the above. The outcome is that a child who might never read a bedtime story or hear a lullaby can now look forward to a chidhood filled with reading and singing. The outcome is that a baby with a lifetime of hunger will find herself in a new lifetime of fulfillment.

This outcome does happen -- every day. Forever families are being created right this moment. I know that these families probably waited a very long time, just like me and Stan. Waiting is just part of the game. So, we will wait. One year down, and many moons to go!

Let's Get Political

If you need a laugh, go to this website and watch Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton launch last night's episode of Saturday Night Live. Funny stuff, my friends.

And, while we're on the subject, can I just tell you how much I totally love Tina Fey? If you don't watch it already, please try watching an episode of 30 Rock when its NBC season premier airs on October 30 at 9:30.

I also heart Jack McBrayer and Tracy Morgan (cast members of 30 Rock).


Jack


Tracy

BLURG!!

Henry is Turning 5!!

Henry is my nephew, and on Saturday he will be five years old!! I can hardly believe it. When Henry was a baby, he loved Cheerios more than anything in the world. If you simply showed him the Cheerios box, he would smile and TREMBLE from head to toe.



As he grew older, Henry shocked us all with his very quick ability to talk. One day he was pointing and grunting at everything (especially ceiling lights) and the next day he was saying things like AIR CONDITIONER.



Now Henry is a champion Karate expert and a skilled Jedi warrior. He is also a master tinker-toy architect and can sing every word of Cruella DeVille (from 101 Dalmations).

Happy Birthday, Henry!!!! We love you!!!

Going Underground

Since our paperwork for the other adoption has gone to Kazakhstan, it is now a good idea for this blog to go private. Even though this blog is about the China adoption, it's just a good idea to stay on the "down low" as far as publicizing our every thought (especially when these thoughts contain swear words and silly songs about things being in the groovie).

So, if you want to continue reading this blog, you will need to leave a comment and include your email address. Or, if you prefer, you can send me a request via email to msolinger@hotmail.com. Please don't be shy! I love having readers. This blog will go private in one week.

Everyone Needs a Good, Smart Bear

Last weekend, we went to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. We rented a huge chalet at the top of a mountain in Gatlinburg and just chillaxed.



When I was little, my parents took me and my brothers there for a vacation or two, and my older brother Brian has been taking his family there for the past several years. My parents eventually started going with them too. Last year, Stan and I and my younger brother Jason and his girlfriend Hailey went too. This year, Stan's mom and dad (Cookie & Norm) came too! So, we had twelve people. And two bears.

The first bear arrived in a very non-traditional way. My dad discovered that the chalet next door was uninhabited and that we could get onto its porch. He also discovered that the view from the chalet next door was a million times better than our view, so he called everybody over.

As we were standing on the other chalet's deck, a bear WALKED OUT ONTO THE DECK OF OUR CHALET!!! My nephew Rider saw him first and started screaming and lunging and pointing and running and basically having a panic attack. "There's a bear! He's on our porch! He just came out the door over there!" And, we're all like, "What bear? I didn't see a bear?" And he's like, "It wasn't a bear, it was a bear in a costume. I mean, it was a man in a bear costume!" Apparantly, some kind of psycho in a bear costume had taken over our chalet during our short absence!

So, we sent over my dad and Brian to find out what was going on. They emerged onto the deck and the bear seemed to be long gone. Then, the bear came out of the door too and ATTACKED THEM!! Dad and Brian fought back and wrestled that bear and basically scared him away!





We all ran back over to our chalet and Dad and Brian said that he ran out of the chalet and took off up the road. So, Rider and my other nephew Wyatt (ages 9 & 11) walked up the road a little bit to see if they could catch a glimpse of him running away.

In the meantime, the adults returned to our chalet's porch and the bear (who had not run up the road but had been hiding in the chalet) joined us. He asked for a beer, and we gave him a Bud Light. He took a seat in a rocking chair next to the hot tub.



Ok, so it was Stan in a bear costume.

And the boys thought it was a pretty good stunt. Later, Rider dressed up in the bear costume and stood in the driveway waving at cars going by. A few of them stopped to take a picture.





Later that day we drove into the park for sightseeing and a picnic.

The park is home to 1,500 black bears. That means that, on average, there are two bears for every 1 square mile. A lot of people see real bears during their trip. Stan and his mom saw two different bears as we were driving through the park. We were driving fast, and they only caught a glimpse. I was very jealous.







But, later that night, I was the first to spot a bear walking directly below the deck of our chalet. He wasn't the least bit afraid of us. He even stopped, sat down, and looked at us for a while.

It's true. Everyone needs a good, smart bear.

Olympics

You just HAVE to go to this blog and read the post entitled "The Olympics." You'll have to scroll down a little bit to see it. I just adore this little girl. She is so dang cute!

The OTHER Blog

Most of you already know this, but for those of you who don't ...

Stan and I are pursuing two adoptions -- one from China (4 years away) and one from Kazakhstan, which we hope to complete by the end of this year or early 2009. I have another blog all about the Kaz adoption. Up until now, the Kaz blog was invitation-only. It's now available to all readers.

You can link to it here or you can find a permanent link over to the right on the side bar. If you're going there for the first time, go to the bottom and read your way up the page.

I Want to Rock N Roll All Night

Last night, our whole fam damily went to see a Kiss tribute band called Mr. Speed. My nephews LOVE this band and have seen them four times in the past six weeks!

During that time, they've been developing some very interesting skills! My brother Brian says that they are turning into little Kiss Monsters.

This was taken right before the show started. We were all so excited!!

I think Gene Simmons is their new hero. When I took this picture, my mom was standing right next to me clapping and grinning ear-to-ear.

These guys are really fantastic. They are Cleveland-based, but they get requests to play shows all over. I work with Ace's wife! (His real name is Joe.)

Wyatt and Rider are totally digging this rock n' roll. These kids are so passionate about the things they love. They know every word to every Kiss song. They stood in front of that stage and focused every bit of their energy on the band for a full two hours.

Five Year Anniversary!

Tony's is our favorite Athens bar.

Stan asked me to marry him in this very booth in August of 2002. We were married five years ago this weekend!

What a weekend! First, we went to Columbus and visited our family. We had a great lunch with Henry and then spent some time reading a really cool children's book about the human body -- complete with x-ray like pictures of the heart and the lungs and the skull!

Then, we went to the Franz's annual Fourth of July Bash where we met little Ila for the first time! She is a totally awesome baby. She was so good and so happy. We really got a kick out of her.

On Saturday, we drove to Zanesville to pick up Jenny and then we all drove to Athens for the day. This weekend marks our fifth wedding anniversary, and Athens is where we met and also where Stan proposed, so we thought it would be a great time to visit the town. We miss Athens so much!! It's too much to explain in a post, but we love Athens very deeply. And not just because of the party atmosphere. Athens is so much more than that! There is just something very special about that little town tucked away in the hills of Southeastern Ohio. It's a magic place.

We walked around the uptown area and College Green. Then we stopped by The Pub for an aquarium (a fish-bowl-sized draft beer for only $2.50!) and then to Tony's for a $5 pitcher of Killian's. After that, we met up with our friends Jen and Carrie and ate dinner at Casa Nueva. Then it was back to Jen's house to CRASH after a very fun, hot, and excessive day!

I just thought this was funny.

Jenny is striking a pose.

American Woman statue behind the library.

Athens is quiet in the summer.

I miss everything about Athens -- even the ground!

I miss Athens rain, too!

Jenny ate a big pickle.



Our friends Jen & Carrie live in Athens. We are so envious!

Waiting for a Miracle

Annie (see below) has updated her blog a few times since she came home from Ethiopia with her daughter. After reading her posts, it is obvious that she has undergone a life-changing event. I am so touched by her words. And I have a hunch that words cannot really describe the mixture of emotions she feels right now.

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to adopt internationally. Above everything, I have to say that STAN AND I ARE THE LUCKY ONES. So many adoptive parents hear the comments, "She is such a lucky little girl!" or "It is so great that you are doing this." But, honestly, despite the ups and downs that Stan and I have faced, when all is said and done, we are the ones who are blessed. I know already that the adoption experience will be one of the greatest experiences of our lives.

I can't speak as a parent. I don't yet think that I can truly imagine the love and the full weight of parenthood, but I do feel like I can speak as an expectant mother. Growing up, I looked forward to someday being a mom. I thought this would entail pregnancy, a birth, nursing, and being a first-time mom to a newborn who would grow up and look like me and her father.

At first, it was very hard for me to accept that my adoption gestation would be a little different. And, please spare me the "Oh, you're so lucky to NOT have to be pregnant/give birth/nurse/raise a newborn" stuff. That kind of talk just pisses me off. As I have clearly documented (and could further document until the end of time without ever running out of things to say), adoption has its own breed of anguish, it's own closet of fears, and a very healthy dose of stress & worry. Otherwise, we would ALL adopt a kid or two, right? There is good and bad to both birth and adoption, and I think it is impossible to say which is "easier."

What I'm trying to say is that, despite the things I'm "missing out on," I am so extremely overjoyed to be embarking on this adventure! Lately, I have been thinking of all the things that Stan and I would be missing if we were entering parenthood via the usual fashion. These are things that we never even imagined when we first tossed around the idea of adoption.

The buzz word of all buzz words (at least during the last several years) is GLOBAL. One of the things I love most about Stan is that he has always been informed, and passionately so, of world politics and events. I never thought very much about the struggles of people in other countries, but he was always telling me stories about the Taliban and the Dalai Lama and genocide and refugees and all kinds of things LONG before we ever heard a whole lot about them on the news. When 9/11 happened, I already knew of the Taliban. Stan used to look up at me from a magazine and shake his fist in the air and say, "The Taliban, Michelle! They must be stopped!" And I thought that he was (possibly) overreacting. Many of us, myself included, had no idea what was going on outside of our own back yards.

Now how things have changed! When you start to comprehend that your future child lives in another part of the world, you definitely begin to think (and to love) without borders. Stan and I will not only travel to a foreign country, but we will actually bring home a human being from a far away land to live in our family forever! Our grandchildren (unless they, too, are adopted) will share our child's ethnic ancestry. This new ribbon will be forever woven into the fabric of our name. I would say that this is one of the most significant global experiences a person could have! Even when I thought about adoption in the past, I NEVER thought about this. And this would NOT be happening if everything had gone as planned. It is one of the miracles that comes along with international adoption.

Another thing that I am scared and excited about is this thought: My child's birth parents made a gut-wrenching decision to entrust the life of their baby to a stranger in the hope that this stranger could provide a better future than they could provide. And I am that stranger. I will think of this every single day of my life. Parenting is not easy, but this thought will be my inspiration and my fuel to do the very best that I can. All parents hold oaths of obligation and commitment in their hearts, but the promise that adoptive parents make is especially sacred. Somewhere, in the world, is a woman who will forever hope that she made the right choice, and I must work hard to ensure that her hopes come true.

Another adoption phenomenon takes place when parents meet their child for the first time. It is every bit as exciting and emotional as a live birth. Have you ever watched the show Adoption Stories on the Discovery Health Channel? We've seen nearly every episode, but we still tear-up every time the parent(s) and a little one finally come together for the first time. The same affirmation occurs over and over -- the affirmation that this is meant to be. The fact that men and women (most of them beaten down by infertility issues or singles who have decided that parenthood is a MUST in the series of events that create what we call life) decide upon adoption, travel half way around the world, meet people who do not speak their language, and receive into their arms a child who needs them just as much as they need her, is truly a miracle of undefined magnitude.

Maybe it's a good thing that we have spent so much time waiting. It takes a while to come to these realizations. At first, there was a part of me that wondered if adoption was really the right choice. Now, every day, it becomes abundantly clear to me that this is one of the best decisions we've ever made.

Happy News in MY Adoption Community

One of my adoption buddies traveled to Ethiopia yesterday, and met her daughter for the first time today. Little Maya is absolutely beautiful, and you can read all about her story here. Annie hasn't posted since she left, but I'm sure that she is over the moon.

Another friend who is adopting from Kazakhstan found out yesterday that she will soon travel to Esik, a region of Kazakhstan near the city of Almaty.

It's so great to know that people actually still do work their way through this process and come home with babies!!

Sad News in the Adoption Community

Please say a prayer for the family of Grammy-winner Steven Curtis Chapman. His youngest daughter who was adopted from China died after a tragic accident at their home. You can read more about it here. I am not really a fan of his music, but as soon as we started looking at China for adoption, we learned of his outspoken advocacy of international adoption and his missionary work in China's orphanages.

One of the adoption agencies we "courted" sent us a DVD about adoption, and Steven and his family were the primary focus of the short documentary. Just like every adoption story we have ever witnessed, it touched our hearts. It was obvious that adoption changed his life and that his world revolves around his family. Watching something so personal and so intimate makes you feel like you know them, and today's news has been harder to take than I would have imagined.

Steven and his wife, Mary Beth, co-authored the book pictured above. Click here to learn more about the book or click here to see pictures of the Chapman family and learn about all the work they have done around the world for the benefit of orphaned children.